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Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 23.06.2025 01:41

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What are some other solutions to tackle the housing crisis in England besides introducing a form of rent cap?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

‘Love Island USA’ Season 7 Contestant Yulissa Escobar Exits Show Amid Surfacing of Racist Clips - The Hollywood Reporter

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How can I promote my Amazon products to get more sales?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fakery

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can count

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I see through liars

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If someone works for me, I actually pay them